How Should Christians Date?
Dating is full of challenges, confusion, and questions about boundaries, timing, and finding "the one."
In his sermon "How Should Christians Date?" Pastor Brandon provides clear biblical guidance to help Christians pursue relationships that honor God and protect their hearts.
Dating as Intentional Evaluation
Dating is essentially a process of evaluation. It is not casual recreation but a deliberate process designed to discern whether a person is suitable for marriage.
Brandon defines dating by stating:
"Dating is not a destination, it is transportation. It is the plane, the train or the automobile, that is meant to take you to a place, and that place is called marriage.”
Two Wise Questions for Dating
Proverbs 1:7 underscores the need for wisdom in all things:
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Wisdom and clarity should shape our approach to dating, avoiding casual or unclear intentions. Brandon outlines two especially wise questions to guide your dating criteria:
1. Do They Follow Christ?
The spiritual alignment of both individuals is vital.
2 Corinthians 6:14 cautions:
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers."
Being spiritually mismatched leads to tension and conflict.
Brandon puts it this way:
"Dating is not a good evangelism strategy. There are better strategies other than trying to date and link your life to that person."
2. Do They Have Godly Character?
While initial attraction is common, lasting relationships require strong character traits such as honesty, integrity, patience, and kindness.
Pastor Brandon put it this way: "Chemistry is what starts it, but ultimately it is character that sustains it.”
Luke 16:10 explains this further:
"Whoever is faithful with very little will also be faithful with much."
Observing character in everyday actions provides insight into a person's true nature and potential as a life partner.
Common Pitfalls in Christian Dating
Avoiding common mistakes is crucial.
Brandon highlights several typical pitfalls:
Rushing emotional and physical intimacy
Neglecting community input and advice
Overlooking fundamental differences in spiritual beliefs
Understanding these common errors helps prevent unnecessary heartache and confusion.
The Importance of Community in Dating
Dating should never be isolated. Proverbs 11:14 reminds us:
"Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors, there is victory."
Involving trusted mentors and friends helps maintain accountability, provides valuable insights, and supports clear decision-making.
Practical Steps for Wise Christian Dating
Pursue Purity Together:
Brandon emphasizes the importance of sexual purity, stating, "When you are in the evaluation process of dating: Nothing will sabotage the evaluation process faster than sex. The moment that you allow it to enter into the dating process. You are now dating drunk, and if you would not drive drunk, I want to encourage you, please do not date drunk." 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 instructs us: "God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin."
Maintain Personal Sovereignty:
Each person should retain their autonomy until marriage. Respecting personal boundaries ensures emotional health and relational clarity, preventing unhealthy entanglements.
Stay Connected to Community:
Consistently engage with community for wisdom, guidance, and accountability in your relationship.
Sermon Highlights
"Dating is not a destination, it is transportation."
"Dating is not a good evangelism strategy."
"Chemistry is what starts it, but ultimately it is character that sustains it."
"Nothing will sabotage the evaluation process faster than sex."
"Where there is no guidance, the people fall, but in an abundance of counselors, there is victory.” Proverbs 11:14
Watch the full sermon, "How Should Christians Date?" here.